Beneath the Summer Sun by Kelly Irvin

Author:Kelly Irvin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2017-10-25T00:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-ONE

Jennie sat upright in the bed. She gasped for air. Sweat burned her eyes. It soaked her nightgown. She threw off tangled, damp sheets. A nightmare. A nightmare relived again. A memory from long ago, yet every detail had been painted in stark contrast against a background of disbelief. Atlee’s anger had not been directed at her only. Matthew had suffered too. He carried scars no one could see so they couldn’t possibly understand why he acted the way he did.

She did understand. Somehow she needed to tell him that. She needed him to understand he could come to her with his pain.

She wrapped her arms around her thin pillow and inhaled its scent of outdoors. It comforted her. The dream revolved around a simple, innocent conversation after church. Leo had broken his long-standing silence to congratulate her on Francis’s birth. A short conversation as all were with Leo.

His supreme effort to make small talk with her that day had meant a lot. She hadn’t thought of what it might look like to Atlee. It had been a simple conversation after church. Leo had been kind, his voice soft, a little gruff, the effort apparent in the way he ducked his head and his jaw worked.

Atlee took it the wrong way. She paid the price. Matthew saw it and tried to stop his father, earning a trip to the woodshed.

Suddenly cold, she shivered and pulled the sheets back over her body.

Their time spent in the basement during the tornadoes had reminded her of that day. As did the conversation during the roof frolic. Seeing him at church. At the store these past few weeks. His attentive stare that made her think he was waiting for something. For her to do something or say something. Which probably brought on the nightmare. The thought rankled. He was a kind man and he did so well with the kinner.

As did Nathan with his sweet storytelling and playing games and leaving books for her. His looks over the supper table after a day working in the fields.

Two kind, gentle men were paying attention to her. Both seemed intent on protecting her. A second chance. Did she deserve a second chance? Did she dare try again? How could she be sure it wouldn’t happen again? The same old doubts tormented her. Nathan was Mennonite. Not so different from the Amish, but not the same. She couldn’t do that to the children, could she? Not with their eternal salvation at stake. She’d only begun the journey with them. Matthew’s rumspringa would begin in less than two years. Then it would be time for him to seek a wife and decide about baptism. The children had to come first. Leo had his own problems, his own void to fill. She couldn’t take care of another person. She had enough on her plate.

Jennie struggled from the bed and lit the kerosene lamp. Still shaking, she padded on bare feet from the room and down the hall. She had to make sure Matthew was all right.

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